An ID Card

I have a card.

There's an old photo of me on it, along
with a very recent notice of renewal.

It says "Schwerbehindert" on it.

It depresses me.

Sort of self-fulfilling.

Kissing

Kissing is a curious thing to me. While I have had the
regular share of innocent childhood family affection
kisses (long term, isn't it ?), I have not had the chance
to engage in the romantic version of the activity. And so,
I wonder.

It is such a strange thing, isn't it ? Pressing lips against
one another, parting them, moving, tongues, saliva...
taken out of context, it seems downright repulsive.
Definitely unsanitary. What is it that compels people
do engage in such a bizarre act ?

Of course I am aware of the biology. The pheromones.
The ritualism. The tribe culture and evolutionary drive.
But aren't we, as humans, also conscious, self-aware
beings ? How can our minds tune out what is actually
going on ?

Maybe it has to do with conditioning. In modern
society, we are born into a world of flickering lights
and endless supplies of ever-new stories that are all
the same old things at the core. Kissing is glorified,
romanticized, and overused as an everlasting symbol
of affection. Is it this that compels us ? Is it true that
some isolated tribes of the human kind are not doing
it at all ?

And why would they ? It is silly. It is pointless.
It even spreads diseases.

And yet, and yet, and yet... I find myself wishing
that I had the chance. Just once. And then again
and again and again.