me that I've been having issues with - My body.
A few years ago, inspired by a friend's blog, I decided
to get into better physical shape... To be what a man
should look like. To be able to look at myself without
disgust.
And, while not overwhelmingly so, it did work. I shed
over 22 pounds and, for the first time in my life, there
was actually a visible effect when I flexed a few of my
muscles.
And what does a guy who is proud of something
do ? Show it to the world, of course. This might come
as a bit of a shock to some of you (assuming that any-
body is left reading this), but I have indeed taken up
photographic self portraits. Of my body. In a word,
nudes. Hopefully "artistic nudes", as the phrase goes.
However, over the course of 2008, I became negligent.
I ate more things that I shouldn't be eating and kept
skipping my workouts. And of course, it showed. So
I grew ashamed and hid from the site that I posted my
nudes on. And I felt miserable about myself every day.
But I decided that I can't keep spiralling down into
obesity. Sure, at the rate I was going, it might take
years.... But it was definitely the direction I was going.
I won't allow it, though. I just cannot lose the only thing
that gives me any right to call myself a man. And believe
me, without a man's body, I am but a boy.
So I am re-adjusting again. Eating better, working out,
being active. And I'm taking photos again. If things keep
getting worse, I still won't be hiding it. There has to be
something that I can do right, and it might be this.
In closing, I'm attaching a link to my non-nude
Deviantart.com gallery. There, I am posting a modified
version of this blog entry, which will contain a link to
my nudes. Because I decided that I have nothing to hide.
Link: My Deviantart Gallery (Non-Nude)
7 comments:
i followed the link but couldn't access the shots; maybe that's better! i would be so embarrassed! but i did see the silhouette of you on your profile page and you look fabulous. lots of nice musculature, indeed...
Oh, they're outdated, anyway.. for the most part. Thank you very much, though !
I guess one needs a free membership with deviantart to access... I failed to remember that.
Why would you be embarassed, though ? Isn't that my part in this ? (Uh, no pun intended)
because i have Victorian sensibilities, have i not told you this?
You have, but there's plenty of evidence to the contrary. (See Exibit A: Mr. Beckham)
but i don't know him. i know you!
...plus he is my imaginary English husband.
Hm, well, you know me just enough not to hate me.
And I can be imaginary, too, you know. Right now, I'm all pink and sport wings on my ankles.
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