"Horror" Films?

Have you ever wondered why they're called "Horror Films" ? I don't mean all
of them. But most of them, particularly the popular kind. Or the kind that used
to be popular, anyway. You know which ones I mean. Screaming teenagers,
running from inexplicably inescapable human monstrosities armed with whatever
cutting implement is their particular trademark.

So, why are those movies called "Horror Films"? It is not like they actually were
about horror. Sure, you might flinch and bury your head in your hands or a kindly,
convenient shoulder when the screen fills up with torn bits and more red than an
actual human body could ever offer. But that's just a side-show, a little extra thrill,
like the one-liners and occasional glimpses of nude bodies before they are just
bodies and nothing more. But the main attraction, the thing that these films
actually are about, is delight.
Vindictive delight.

After all, there are never many characters whom we actually want to see
make it to the end of the movie, are there? The cast might be unique to each
flick, but it's largely interchangeable. Archetypes. There's the jock. There's
the bitch. The slut. The snob. The bully. The know-it-all. And any combination
thereof. And then, there's that one character. The one island of reason and sen-
sibility in a sea of ignorance. The under-appreciated smart and beautiful one
whom all those unlikeable pricks seem to look down upon at best or ignore
at worst. Genre enthusiasts know this character as the "final girl". She's the
one whom we all know will survive. And she's us.

It doesn't matter all that much whether one is a teenage girl, a grown man,
a child, short, tall, athletic, disabled, transgendered, black or white... We
are all this pretty young girl. We are the one who does things the right way,
or at least tries, or means to try. We are never fully appreciated, we are
outcasts, we are the ostensible loser. But we are better. Deep down, we
know that.

And, as the lumbering, invincible maniac swings his machete right through
the heads and hearts of all those ignorant, unlikeable pricks, we run, we
hide, we scream. We are scared. We are horrified by what happened to
all of them. But not really. They kind of did have it coming, didn't they?
For all their bragging and bullying; their privileged, easy life, their
getting-some when we don't, they really leave the world a better place
when they're gone.

And that's why we'll survive. Because we are innocent. We are pure
and smart and humble. We are right. We are normal, even when we
take pride in being everything but that.
Sure, the killer is still coming to get us. He might swing his weapon at
us, catch up as we run and scream, even hurt us with a way-too-close
call... But he will let us live.
Because he, too, is us.

Satisfaction Mandatory

Upon my journeys of the pointless places of the internet, I spend a lot
of time reading what others have to say about entertainment.
Fictions. Pop Culture.
In recent days, I have noticed a strange trend.

As far as stereotypes go, discussions on the internet - especially
in realms of "fandom" - tend to be negative and deconstructive,
obliterating any given given piece of media on the basis of small,
whimsical details and nitpicks. So far the cliche.

But lately, I've come to notice a big, even dominating movement
that seems to be the opposite and yet the same. Allow me to
explain.

Nowadays, when somebody (let's call this exemplary person
Billy Starter) starts a forum topic to voice their dissatisfaction
with .. let's say.. a movie, people are quick to jump all over
that person, discounting all complains and defending that
movie with the ferocity of a mother Grizzly defending her
young against invaders from outer space. These people make
sure to tell poor Billy to grow up and to pull the preverbial stick
out of his rectum. They generally seem convinced that anyone
who doesn't love a movie must be a virtual clone of the Simp-
sons' own Comic Book guy - Only less socially adept.

Now, Billy might not be one to back down easily. He might be
convinced that he's right, and he might want to defend his own
opinion. If he does, he's doomed.
For then, the defense squad jumps into action. If you actually
use forums, you might have witnessed this spontaneously-
forming, cult-like mob in action. Hellbent on refuting the very
idea that something about a movie (/music/book/comic/game)
might be anything less than great entertainment, they rip apart
any and every point of criticism. Should they run out of argu-
ments of their own, they bring out their secret weapon of
ultimate doom.
"It's just _______, grow up and enjoy it".

You see, it doesn't matter if there are plot holes. It doesn't
matter if basic story elements make no sense. It doesn't
matter if a musical composition is tired and boring. It doesn't
matter if dialogue is stupid. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter,
it doesn't matter. All that matters it that you, as a good
consumer sit down and ENJOY things no matter how
bad they are. Because if you can't, it's you who failed
- Not the ones who made the the stupid crap you're watching.

That's right. Apparently, it's not longer the job of someone who
comes up with a story to make it enjoyable. It's up to the con-
sumer to make himself believe that he enjoys it. And if you
don't... Yep, you instantly regain your virginity and teleport
into your parents' basement.

I've seriously seen people claim that it doesn't matter if actors
suck... because "IT'S JUST A MOVIE !" And that it doesn't
matter if the writing on a comic is bad because "IT'S JUST
A STORY". These are literal quotes, mind you.

So what happened here ?
Is this some kind of bizarre counter-movement to the negativity
of years past ? Is it a desperate attempt to appear mature and
worldly ? Could it be the seeds of the industrial plants ?

Whatever it might be, I know for sure that it is one thing:
Hilariously stupid.