tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86854250261356492632024-02-20T20:06:39.576+01:00Creature'sUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-78639625675654934312011-03-28T22:11:00.002+02:002011-03-28T22:17:57.486+02:00"Horror" Films?Have you ever wondered why they're called "Horror Films" ? I don't mean all<br />of them. But most of them, particularly the popular kind. Or the kind that used<br />to be popular, anyway. You know which ones I mean. Screaming teenagers,<br />running from inexplicably inescapable human monstrosities armed with whatever<br />cutting implement is their particular trademark.<br /><br />So, why are those movies called "Horror Films"? It is not like they actually were<br />about <em>horror</em>. Sure, you might flinch and bury your head in your hands or a kindly,<br />convenient shoulder when the screen fills up with torn bits and more red than an<br />actual human body could ever offer. But that's just a side-show, a little extra thrill,<br />like the one-liners and occasional glimpses of nude bodies before they are just<br />bodies and nothing more. But the main attraction, the thing that these films<br />actually are about, is <em>delight</em>.<br /><em>Vindictive</em> delight.<br /><br />After all, there are never many characters whom we actually want to see<br />make it to the end of the movie, are there? The cast might be unique to each<br />flick, but it's largely interchangeable. Archetypes. There's the jock. There's<br />the bitch. The slut. The snob. The bully. The know-it-all. And any combination<br />thereof. And then, there's that one character. The one island of reason and sen-<br />sibility in a sea of ignorance. The under-appreciated smart and beautiful one<br />whom all those unlikeable pricks seem to look down upon at best or ignore<br />at worst. Genre enthusiasts know this character as the "final girl". She's the<br />one whom we all know will survive. And she's us.<br /><br />It doesn't matter all that much whether one is a teenage girl, a grown man,<br />a child, short, tall, athletic, disabled, transgendered, black or white... We<br />are all this pretty young girl. We are the one who does things the <em>right</em> way,<br />or at least tries, or means to try. We are never fully appreciated, we are<br />outcasts, we are the ostensible loser. But we are better. Deep down, we<br />know that.<br /><br />And, as the lumbering, invincible maniac swings his machete right through<br />the heads and hearts of all those ignorant, unlikeable pricks, we run, we<br />hide, we scream. We are scared. We are horrified by what happened to<br />all of them. But not<em> really</em>. They kind of <strong>did </strong>have it coming, didn't they?<br />For all their bragging and bullying; their privileged, easy life, their<br />getting-some when we don't, they really leave the world a better place<br />when they're gone.<br /><br />And that's why we'll survive. Because we are innocent. We are pure<br />and smart and humble. We are right. We are normal, even when we<br />take pride in being everything but that.<br />Sure, the killer is still coming to get us. He might swing his weapon at<br />us, catch up as we run and scream, even hurt us with a way-too-close<br />call... But he will let us live.<br />Because he, too, is <strong><em>us</em></strong>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-39957236155316696902010-08-03T15:40:00.004+02:002010-08-03T15:44:30.409+02:00Hello!<p><strong><em>I wish all nosy people an unique day!</em></strong><br /></p><p><strong><em><br /></em></strong></p><p><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong><em><br /></em></strong></span></p><br /><img src="http://i329.photobucket.com/albums/l373/CreatureSH/Forum%20Linkage/ravave_small.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket">Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-32615822638725536992010-01-27T20:43:00.004+01:002010-01-27T20:51:10.642+01:00Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry.<p>I apologize.</p><p>I apologize all the time.<br />At the slightest hint of conflict. Not even just when I<br />might have done something wrong. When anybody has<br />done something wrong. Or somebody might feel that<br />someone has done something wrong. Or when somebody<br />is inconvenienced at all. <br /></p><p>I do it to defuse the conflict. I just can't stand fighting<br />or disharmony anymore; my skin has worn as thing as<br />a wet layer of paper tissue. I can't take it. I can't take<br /><strong><em>anything</em></strong>.<br /></p><p>It affects the apologies that are meant to be. The heart-<br />felt "<i>Sorry. I screwed up and I hurts me that I caused<br />you pain</i>" ones. I am not entirely sure when I actually<br />feel that way anymore. It all gets lost in the automatism<br />of apologizing.</p><p>And the punchline is... It doesn't even work. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-11156244075605845332009-09-15T14:05:00.000+02:002009-09-15T14:06:59.577+02:00MurkSometimes, I see a hand rise from the murk,<br /><br />and with surprise, I realize that it is my own.<br />As all the wet dirt and grime and mud slides down, off the fingers, it looks almost clean, almost normal, as it reaches out for the bark.<br />But of course, the bark really is a blade of straw.<br />The mud crashes over my head as I briefly pull the straw down with me before it slips through my fingers and floats back to the surface.<br /><br />Then, things are as they were.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-71408587563552895652009-04-08T14:56:00.001+02:002009-04-08T14:59:06.725+02:00Man and Women - Domination ? REALLY ?<object width="356" height="298"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V_MDXmwbXrw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V_MDXmwbXrw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="356" height="299"></embed></object><br /><br />There should be a video up there.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-82491679084290573312008-12-16T18:11:00.002+01:002008-12-16T18:13:08.361+01:00Blissing FollowupFollowup on the "things that bliss you" thing.<br />Will have to do more of this another time.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0zBDuzECz3Y&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0zBDuzECz3Y&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-14560225395046262008-12-06T08:24:00.005+01:002008-12-06T09:07:28.278+01:00Everybody must see this for one reason or another<p>I usually don't link-or-embed-blog, but <br />sometimes, it's very much called for.<br /></p><p></p><br /><br /><object width="356" height="298" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf"><param name="flashvars" value="key=c0cf508ff8"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><embed width="356" height="298" flashvars="key=c0cf508ff8" allowfullscreen="true" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-68230552549673812222008-12-02T17:09:00.001+01:002008-12-02T17:11:07.969+01:00An ID CardI have a card.<br /><br />There's an old photo of me on it, along<br />with a very recent notice of renewal.<br /><br />It says "<span style="font-style:italic;">Schwerbehindert</span>" on it.<br /><br />It depresses me.<br /><br />Sort of self-fulfilling.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-23433507964428523582008-11-19T19:29:00.003+01:002008-11-19T19:33:09.188+01:00A Nugget of Brainstuff<u><span style="font-size:150%;">Nugget of Brainstuff for today:</span></u><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><i>Why let what you are not define you,<br />when there is so much that you are ?</i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-84233775407746941802008-10-23T05:17:00.003+02:002008-10-23T05:27:10.183+02:00Girls Kissing Girls - The right way and the wrong wayGirls kissing girls.<br />Kind of a popular topic lately, isn't it ? Lots of song,<br />lots of talk. Usually, I'd welcome that, being an obvious<br />proponent of gay right and all the related jazz. But I'm<br />angry. Why am I angry about all the song and all the<br />talk, you ask ? Because it's all backwards.<br /><br />Regarding rights and acceptance, it's become obvious<br />that western society seems to be marching backwards<br />hell-bent on wronging some rights. Don't believe me ?<br />Well, let's have a look at <i>exibit A</i>, a song called<br />"I kissed a girl"... Not by Katy Perry, but by Jill Sobule,<br />in 1995.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SclQZ4W2VZ0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />I like this song. It's happy. It's positive. It's all about<br />self-discovery and finding the right life, the right person,<br />regardless of gender conventions. It's about <b><i>love</i></b>.<br />No<br />overblown drama, no angst, just a happy little bit of<br />love.<br /><br /><b><u>Key phrase</u></b>: "<i>I kissed a girl, won't change<br />the world, but I'm so glad I kissed a girl</i>"<br />See, that's a good one because it sums it all up. It's<br />no big deal. It won't change society. It's just what<br />some of us silly humans need to be happy. This is the<br />right message.<br /><br /><br />Now, as much as I'd like to avoid it, let's have a look<br />at exibit B. You know what's coming, I know<br />what's coming, let's cut to the chase.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MVoOXvCgf6s&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Quite a different affair, isn't it ? Even the video shows<br />the differences clearly. No playful silliness, no bright<br />colors. Instead, we get our standard "sinful decadence"<br />setting and bodies moving seductively in slow motion<br />while the almost-threatening club beat stomps away.<br />And what does Miss Perry tell us about it all ? <br /> <table border="1" width="250"><tbody><tr><td><i>No, I don't even know your name<br /> It doesn't matter,<br /> You're my experimental game<br /> Just human nature,<br /> It's not what,<br /> Good girls do<br /> Not how they should behave<br /> My head gets so confused<br /> Hard to obey</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><b><u>Key phrase</u></b>: "<i>I kissed a girl and I liked it<br />The taste of her cherry chap stick<br />I kissed a girl just to try it<br />I hope my boyfriend don't mind it</i>"<br /><br />Yep. She even... Actually, scratch that. This is<br />clearly a designer piece. Marketing. Not the<br />effort of a musician. So....<br /><b><i>They</i></b> even had the nerve to include that boyfriend<br />line, just in case that, heaven forbid, somebody actually<br />thinks that we have a real lesbian on our hands. <i>Eww,<br />no ! </i> Who'd like a girl who doesn't fuck boys ? We<br />clearly can't have that.<br /><br />The implications are clear.<br />Thirteen years after Jill Sobule got it all damn right,<br />we're back to looking at lesbian relationships as<br />nothing more than a forbidden kink. A porn movie<br />fantasy. "Woah, look at what a naughty, naughty slut<br />I am, boys".<br /><br />Way to go, Katy. Way to go, Capitol Records.<br />I hereby congratulate you for your valiant efforts<br />in setting both the movements of gay and women's<br />rights back by at least thirteen years. Your contri-<br />butions to the ongoing effort of reducing women<br />to vapid and disposable sex objects have inspired<br />many.<br />I'm sure that all the homosexual (and bisexual and<br />heterosexual, for that matter) women of the world<br />will be eternally grateful for greedy assholes like you<br />and your crafty ways of making tons of money by<br />spreading their sexist and condescending image of<br />women.<br /><br />If any of these women happen to be inclined to express<br />their gratitude with the aid of torches, pitchforks and<br />possibly baseball bats with huge nails driven through<br />the top... Would you mind a guy who's just itching<br />to tag along ?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-86771357578040263512008-10-10T17:10:00.003+02:002008-10-10T17:27:52.645+02:00Somehow Shallow<p>There is something that has been going through my<br />head lately and has been dug up and put right on top<br />of the mental pile by almost losing my friendship with<br />someone who might prefer not to be named on here<br />and <a href="http://crystalkernan.blogspot.com/2008/10/everybody-hit-on-me-now.html" target="_blank">Crystal's latest blog</a>...<br /><br />The way I end up picking my friends is terrible.<br />Mind you, the friends are not, but I keep noticing that<br />I practically solely dedicate my friendship to gorgeous<br />people. There is <strong>not one</strong> ugly person in my little (ex-<br />clusively online, by the way) circle of friends. What<br />does that make me ? </p><p>A shallow bastard, I suppose.</p><p>Now, it's not like I would be friends with a hot airbrain.<br />I don't think that I could stand that for even a few<br />minutes. But doesn't that actually make it worse ? <br /></p>Isn't it awfully decadent of me to "<em>pick out</em>" an "<em>elite</em>"<br />group of amazing people ? It's not really a conscious<br />effort, mind you. But that's where I am drawn and it<br />is what it ends up being. It just seems that it makes<br />me a... not very good person, so...<br /><br />I wonder how to fix it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-25487121924440822412008-08-08T00:01:00.000+02:002008-08-08T00:02:23.437+02:00Doing Stuff<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8DfL4q-CRes&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8DfL4q-CRes&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-44042143035304872062008-06-26T03:01:00.002+02:002008-06-26T03:04:17.429+02:00A random observation on cheese<p>When baking cheese, there is a very thin line between<br />"Crispy and delicious" and"dairy equivalent of volcanic rock". </p><p>When microwave ovens are involved, the timeframe that separates the edible from the flash-fossilized dissolves into mere seconds.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-39963349577657641172008-06-18T23:27:00.002+02:002008-06-18T23:33:16.069+02:00Another Part (of me)Today, I tried to get back in touch with a part of<strong><br /></strong>me that I've been having issues with - My body.<br />A few years ago, inspired by a friend's blog, I decided<br />to get into better physical shape... To be what a man<br />should look like. To be able to look at myself without<br />disgust.<br /><br />And, while not overwhelmingly so, it did work. I shed<br />over 22 pounds and, for the first time in my life, there<br />was actually a visible effect when I flexed a few of my<br />muscles.<br /><br />And what does a guy who is proud of something<br />do ? Show it to the world, of course. This might come<br />as a bit of a shock to some of you (assuming that any-<br />body is left reading this), but I have indeed taken up<br />photographic self portraits. Of my body. In a word,<br />nudes. <em>Hopefully</em> "artistic nudes", as the phrase goes.<br /><br />However, over the course of 2008, I became negligent.<br />I ate more things that I shouldn't be eating and kept<br />skipping my workouts. And of course, it showed. So<br />I grew ashamed and hid from the site that I posted my<br />nudes on. And I felt miserable about myself every day.<br /><br />But I decided that I can't keep spiralling down into<br />obesity. Sure, at the rate I was going, it might take<br />years.... But it was definitely the direction I was going.<br />I won't allow it, though. I just cannot lose the only thing<br />that gives me any right to call myself a man. And believe<br />me, without a man's body, I am but a boy.<br /><br />So I am re-adjusting again. Eating better, working out,<br />being active. And I'm taking photos again. If things keep<br />getting worse, I still won't be hiding it. There has to be<br />something that I can do right, and it might be this.<br /><br />In closing, I'm attaching a link to my <strong><em>non-nude</em></strong><br />Deviantart.com gallery. There, I am posting a modified<br />version of this blog entry, which will contain a link to<br />my nudes. Because I decided that I have nothing to hide. <br /><p>Link: <a href="http://creaturesh.deviantart.com/">My Deviantart Gallery</a> (Non-Nude)</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-48603954270827849152008-04-14T15:00:00.001+02:002008-04-14T15:02:08.760+02:00Not Well LatelyI'm not feeling great lately. I don't really know<br />what triggered this, but lately, I've been feeling<br />quite unhinged. And I can't really talk about it with<br />any of my friends, because they either have enough<br />problems of their own, or they are in good spirits<br />which I really shouldn't ruin.<br /><br />But hardly anyone ever seems to read this blog,<br />so I suppose that I can get it out on here.<br /><br />Where do I start ? I've got those increasingly<br />frequent and overwhelming pushes of aggression.<br />This chaotic rage and desperation. Sometimes, it's<br />to the point where I need to scream every few<br />minutes. I'd do more than scream, but that would<br />be unreasonable.<br /><br />I've been slacking off with my fitness workouts.<br />And to make it worse, I can't stop eating lately.<br />Maybe that's because my parents keep telling me<br />that I'm underweight (160 pounds at 6'1<b> / </b>73 kg at<br />1,86m, judge for yourself), but the way I eat lately<br />isn't healthy at all. I'm losing everything I've been<br />working the past two years for. I don't want to go<br />back, but that's where I'm headed.<br /><br />I rarely <i>really </i>talk to my friends anymore.<br />I think I'm failing them all. It's like I lost my<br />ability to help others....<br />or maybe I never really had any ability like that.<br />Maybe it's all too complicated for simple advice<br />now.<br /><br />I can't find any drive to do anything lately.<br /><br />Everything seems so futile.<br /><br />And it is.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-35387424413778503822008-02-23T01:38:00.000+01:002008-02-23T01:40:14.692+01:00Last NightShe is a goddess. Wonderful, unreachable, no matter<br />how close she seems to be. It is all I really know.<br /><br />I'm not sure how I got here. I don't even<br />know where "here" is. It is not important.<br /><br />The rest I lie in is oddly comfortable, even as confined<br />as it is. It fits the contures of my body perfectly.. both<br />below and above me. The upper half that that covers<br />me only has openings for my mouth, nostrils and for<br />my eyes. Usually, this would be uncomfortable, even<br />claustrophobic.<br />But right now, it is just right. For just<br />beyond this constriction, there's<span style="font-size:130%;"><b><i><br />her</i></b></span>.<br /><br />I thought that I had known her for years. But I never<br />really knew what I witness at this moment. In a way,<br />she still's still the same woman... Her aware eyes, her<br />full hair, her slender lips... But there is something else<br />now. Something so warm and serene, something<br />overwhelming. Something burns within her, and I've<br />never seen before it was bright enough to blind me.<br />I'm blind enough to see now.<br /><br />She is above me. In every way. Her white, pearlescent<br />garments produce a silent rattle, as she moves just<br />enough to enchant me with her swaying. She is speaking<br />to me, and even though I don't understand the words, I<br />know what she is saying. She's filling my senses with her<br />warmth, her passion, her heavenly love. She knows that<br />I want to be with her, hold her, merge with her. But<br />whatever happens, happens on her terms. I strain against<br />my coverings, trying to see her closer, take in her scent,<br />maybe reach her with my tongue. Longing. Sweet agony.<br />She rewards my struggle with a fleeting kiss, as she slips<br />off her garment. My arms are free now, and without a<br />word, she allows me to caress her waist.<br /><br />Suddenly, she is far away from me. I must be upright,<br />as I can still see her on the other side of the room. I see<br />the place we are in for the first time. It is a temple of old,<br />but clearly built in modern times. The perfect place to<br />worship a perfect woman. She is clothed again, lying<br />on an invory-like bench suspended above a pool of<br />water that I know to be warm. She is still looking at me,<br />smiling so warmly, still affirming, and entirely in control.<br />Around her are other women. But there really aren't<br />any other women in her presence.<br />They are merely framework.<br /><br />Knowingly, she slips into the water with divine grace.<br />I hesitate for a moment, as an unseen voice warns me<br />about lacking the proper preparation for excellence.<br />Won't everyone see my arousal straining against my<br />clothes ? Do I have to be ashamed ? It can't matter.<br />Not while she is there. Not when I could be with her.<br />I slip out of my confinement and drop into the water.<br /><br />The water is welcoming. I have no difficulty holding<br />my breath as I approach her elegant shape gliding<br />through the silent warmth. She smiles at me as I take<br />hold of her arm in a slow spin.<br /><br />I wake.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-16269382177429409262008-01-28T23:58:00.000+01:002008-01-29T00:02:05.839+01:00Just woke up. Oh wait, I didn't.<p>Recently, I've revisited a place I hadn't been to for<br />quite<br />a while. It wasn't New York or Paris or Rome... I've<br />never been in those places. The place I'm talking about<br />is much closer, but much harder to visit... at least inten-<br />tionally. I usually wind up there by chance. It's the place<br />between sleeping and waking.</p>No, I haven't turned into Lewis Carol, Alan Moore or<br />the nutjob living down the street (is there much of a dif-<br />ference, though ?). I am talking about a relatively<br />obscure medical condition called <b>Sleep Paralysis</b>.<br /><br />In case you never heard of it (which<br />is likely) - Allow me to explain a little bit.<br /><br />Sleep happens in different phases. The deepest and<br />most well-known part of each sleep cycle is the <b>REM</b><br />phase. REM stands for <b><i>r</i></b>apid <b><i>e</i></b>ye<br /><b><i>m</i></b>ovement, which<br />occurs because the eyes move in accord with what<br />we "see" in our dreams. This is a normal occurence.<br />In order to keep the rest of the body from acting out<br />what goes on in dreamland, the human body releases<br />a hormonal cocktail that effectively paralyses all<br />major muscle groups with the exception of internal<br />organs and parts of the face. The commands from<br />the brain no longer reach the body.<br /><br />This is a good thing, because people would run<br />against walls a lot at night if it didn't happen, and<br />that would drive insurance payments through<br />the roof. In fact, it might drive people through<br />the roof, too. Or through windows. Down the<br />stairs, into one another... you get the picture.<br /><br /><p>However, what happens when the "command<br />routes" aren't cleared when you wake up ?<br />Imagine waking up in the middle of the night. At least<br />you are pretty sure that it is the middle of the night, be-<br />cause you can't see <i>a thing</i>. You are trying to get<br />up,<br />but you can't. You can't do <i>anything</i>. You arms won't<br />lift, your legs won't scramble the sheets, your back won't<br />rise from the mattress. You have no idea what is going<br />on, and you're starting to panic a little.<br />Well, that's sleep paralysis.</p><br />Now, before you start worrying too much.. it's harmless.<br />The condition usually passes within seconds or minutes,<br />and, unless they know better, most people just assume<br />that they were dreaming.<br /><br /><p>Speaking of dreaming - There is another, most peculiar<br />symptom to sleep paralysis. Apparently most likely<br />related to the understandable anxiety that comes with<br />the confused state of waking up as an oversized paper-<br />weight, the brain starts conjuring up random audatory,<br />sensory and sometimes visual scenery to explain this<br />fine mess to the conscious. In other words, you hallu-<br />cinate a little. What exactly you hear, feel and/or see is<br />up to you; Or rather, it's up to your subconscious.</p><br />It's fairly common to think that there's something heavy<br />on your chest, pushing you down into the bed. A lot of<br />people hear strange, random and unnerving noises. A<br />particularly religious person might perceive a demon<br />trying to take hold of them; daytime talkshow viewers<br />might believe to experience an abduction by aliens,<br />complete with floating out the window and being<br />probed somewhere in a spaceship. In fact, some re-<br />searchers believe that the idea of alien abductions in<br />fact stems from sleep paralysis, becoming progressively<br />more specific and detailed as sufferers heard descrip-<br />tions of such abductions in the media and pulled them<br />from their subconscious during episodes.<br /><br /><p>Fortunately enough, a good way to avoid such b-movies<br />playing out in your head during sleep paralysis is simple:<br /><i>Realizing what is going on</i>.<br />As an "informed" sleep paralysis patient (I use the term<br />loosely here, as I am not receiving medical treatment),<br />I perceive the episodes as what they are - A mild<br />annoyance and kinda interesting at the same time. That is<br />not to say that I'm not experiencing hallucinations... But<br />mine (and those of countless others) are rather mundane.<br />I can still perceive a heavy weight on my chest, but I <br />realize that it's really just the blanket or my own arms.<br />I see myself lifting those arms when I try, even though<br />I might not be moving them yet. That's admitably a little<br />vexing.</p><br />If you are now sitting in front of your screen with<br />the elated expression that comes with finally figuring out<br />what happened to you all those nights, here are a few<br />words of advice for you.<br /><br />There is no surefire way to avoid sleep paralysis, but<br />there are things that help. Keep a healthy and steady<br />sleep schedule. Try to live healthy in general.<br />There seem to be medical ways to reduce the likelyhood<br />of an episode, too.. But that is generally not recommen-<br />dable, as those would needlessly strain your mind and<br />body disproportionally. Rather try not to sleep on your<br />back, as that appears to be the most common position<br />for sleep paralysis to occur. (Personally, I almost never<br />experience the phenomenom when I sleep on my side)<br /><br /><p>If and when you happen to slip into this confusing state<br />upon waking up, the best advice is to <b>stay calm</b>. If you<br />don't panic, you won't see or hear anything out of the<br />ordinary, except maybe exaggerated versions of the<br />normal noises around you (silently ticking clock<br />becomes<i> loud</i> ticking noise). To come out of it, try<br />to speak or make small movements like wiggling your<br />fingers or toes. Don't be upset if it doesn't work right<br />away - I went through the entire alphabet song before<br />I was fully awake last time. Staying calm, you might<br />even fall back asleep and wake up again regularly<br />a little later. Just remember - You're<b> not</b> going insane<br />or losing control of your body. It's merely a little flub<br />that will work itself out in a minute.</p><br />If you'd like to find out more about sleep paralysis and<br />it's causes, I recommend having a look at one of the<br />following links:<br /><br /><p><a href="http://www.spis.org.uk/" target="_blank"><b>http://www.spis.org.uk/</b></a><b><br /></b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis" target="_blank"><b>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis</b></a><b><br /></b><a href="http://csicop.org/doubtandabout/sleep/" target="_blank"><b>http://csicop.org/doubtandabout/sleep/</b></a><b><br /></b><a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Sleep-Paralysis" target="_blank"><b>http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Sleep-Paralysis</b></a></p><br /><br />PS: You could theoretically try to go back and try<br />to conjure up some more pleasant, maybe even<br />delightfully naughty hallucinations.. but it probably<br />won't work if you absent-mindedly roll onto your<br />side like I did last time. Damn !Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-18419209632145970842008-01-04T03:06:00.000+01:002008-01-04T03:09:26.568+01:00Kissing<p>Kissing is a curious thing to me. While I have had the<br />regular share of innocent childhood family affection<br />kisses (long term, isn't it ?), I have not had the chance<br />to engage in the romantic version of the activity. And so,<br />I wonder.</p>It is such a strange thing, isn't it ? Pressing lips against<br />one another, parting them, moving, tongues, saliva...<br />taken out of context, it seems downright repulsive.<br />Definitely unsanitary. What is it that compels people<br />do engage in such a bizarre act ?<br /><br />Of course I am aware of the biology. The pheromones.<br />The ritualism. The tribe culture and evolutionary drive.<br />But aren't we, as humans, also conscious, self-aware<br />beings ? How can our minds tune out what is actually<br />going on ?<br /><br />Maybe it has to do with conditioning. In modern<br />society, we are born into a world of flickering lights<br />and endless supplies of ever-new stories that are all<br />the same old things at the core. Kissing is glorified,<br />romanticized, and overused as an everlasting symbol<br />of affection. Is it this that compels us ? Is it true that<br />some isolated tribes of the human kind are not doing<br />it at all ?<br /><br />And why would they ? It is silly. It is pointless.<br />It even spreads diseases.<br /><br />And yet, and yet, and yet... I find myself wishing<br />that I had the chance. Just once. And then again<br />and again and again.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-11073284410532011262007-12-29T17:33:00.000+01:002007-12-29T17:38:15.369+01:00Oddity Chronicle I<span><i><br /><br />December 29th, 5:18 am:</i></span><span><br /></span><span><br />Found half a peanut on toilet flush button.<br />Went to sleep with questions unanswered.</span><br /><span><br /><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-84231854011672255712007-12-15T02:11:00.000+01:002007-12-15T03:43:50.092+01:00Online Crushes, eh ?<p>To my moderate surprise, I found out that today is either<br />the day that one officially gets the chance to publicize their<br />"online crushes" or it is the day that one particular blog-<br />gerist decided to blatantly make stuff up. Since the latter<br />would clearly never happen, I have to assume that today<br />is the day for crushing.</p>So, in no real order because I can't follow orders anyway:<br /><br /><p>First to mention because she started this outing within my<br />horizon is one <a href="http://crystalanne.org/" target="_blank"><b>Crystal</b></a>, with whom I disagree in length and<br />agree briefly - 'Cause, when she's right, she nails it. She's<br />also a source of crysaline crazyness and avatarian saint-<br />wisdom, which is kinda rare. Also, she's hot.</p>Also absolutely mention-required is <a href="http://avatar2.gaiaonline.com/gaia/members/ava/0c/d4/5f823e9f2ed40c_flip.png?t=1197618088_6.00_01" target="_blank"><b>the man called<br />Cobalt</b></a>, who is less of a crush-object and more of a<br />co-joined at the virtual hip kinda thing. He taught me<br />a lot of things I never wanted to know and some that<br />I really <strong>SHOULD</strong> know. I couldn't do without him<br />and all of his oddballings. Also, he's hot.<br /><br />There's one very, very bad girl (sorry, no links here..<br />trust me, it's for the better) who totally irritated me by<br />actually talking to me and blew my mind by becoming<br />a close friend. Way too wild and way too wise and<br />weally, weally not quiet ! Also, she's <i>hot</i>.<br /><br />Mentions that <b>MUST NOT BE UNDER-<br />ESTIMATED </b>go to the waytookind MDguy<br />and the Horsegirl sisters. All three of these<br />mentions are also hot.<br /><br />And finally, there's one whose cameos in my online<br />life are such a bittersweet affair. You haven't lived<br />until you know a beautiful woman who can<br />practically quote the entire "Friday, 13th"<br />series by heart. And is also hot. With <a href="http://www.freewebs.com/metaloonie/index.htm" target="_blank"><b><i>her</i></b></a>,<br />I close this possibly-but-not really arbitrary list.<br /><br /><p>'nuff said.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-83432279959975020422007-11-10T17:28:00.000+01:002007-11-10T17:29:28.386+01:00Back now.Not that anyone would know the difference.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-88005590246008159132007-11-02T21:44:00.000+01:002007-11-02T21:45:25.127+01:00Temporary notice of absenceHello, whoever is reading !<br /><br />If it is of any concern to you, please take notice of the fact that - due to computer problems - I will not be able to be online for a while. I might be back early next week, though, if everything goes well.<br /><br />dullest regards<br />CSHUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-59739185435059669722007-09-05T21:57:00.000+02:002007-09-05T22:04:34.915+02:00Wishful ThinkingSometimes, I see things that I want. Expensive<br />things. And of course, I can't afford those things.<br />And then, while I turn away, I can not help but<br />think "one day, when I when the lottery..."<br /><br />Of course, that's absurd. The odds of thats are nil.<br />Especially considering that I don't play the lottery.<br />Still, the thought remains. Because it is comforting.<br />Because it warps my perception of reality in a way<br />that makes it more bearable to me.<br /><br />That's stupid and it is human.<br /><br /><p>It is also something that I see in people every day.<br />Not just pertaining material desires. It's far more<br />common in the "deeper" matters of life. Life, death,<br />love, hate, fate... Self-deceit rules the world. A man<br />is mistreating his wife, but she stays with him<br />because she clings to the thought that he'll change.<br />Business is down, but the boss keeps going like be-<br />fore because the market will probably recover. A<br />woman is diagnosed with a deadly disease, but she<br />just prays to get better.</p>Praying. Belief. Religion. The biggest deceit of all. It<br />is something the people uphold even in the face of all<br />the science in the world. And why ? Because it is so<br />damn comforting.<br /><br />Evolution has programmed us to avoid death at<br />all cost, but our damn brains have grown to an<br />uncomfortable capacity. We now know that sooner<br />or later, we <b><i>will </i></b>die. And we can't stand that thought.<br />It goes against our prime instinct. The solution that<br />our poor, confused species has found for this dilemma<br />is simple: We made up a life after life. We don't really<br />end ! We just go on to the next place. It doesn't get<br />simpler than this, and it could hardly get any more<br />absurd. And this is the way we, as a species, seem<br />to approach all uncomfortable realities. We can<br />change everything if we just belief hard enough.<br />And what when things go wrong, after all ? <br /><i><br />The ways of the lord are mysterious.</i><br /><br /><p>Even in the face of evidence to the contrary, belief<br />prevails. It empowers. And power is something that<br />is hard to give up.<br />We made god because we want to <b>be</b> god.<br />We want to have control over all things.</p>Guess what ? We'll never have it. And the sooner we<br />can accept that, the easier it will be to deal with the<br />things we actually can do something about.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-62153792680195629972007-08-14T13:14:00.000+02:002007-08-14T13:20:16.008+02:00Isn't it funny when......you happen to witness a friend describing the most repulsive features in a man... And most of those happen <br />to fit you to a tee ?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8685425026135649263.post-77332830746193150912007-08-02T22:58:00.001+02:002007-08-02T23:05:08.209+02:00Satisfaction MandatoryUpon my journeys of the pointless places of the internet, I spend a lot<br />of time reading what others have to say about entertainment.<br />Fictions. Pop Culture.<br />In recent days, I have noticed a strange trend.<br /><br />As far as stereotypes go, discussions on the internet - especially<br />in realms of "<i>fandom</i>" - tend to be negative and deconstructive,<br />obliterating any given given piece of media on the basis of small,<br />whimsical details and nitpicks. So far the cliche.<br /><br />But lately, I've come to notice a big, even dominating movement<br />that seems to be the opposite and yet the same. Allow me to<br />explain.<br /><br />Nowadays, when somebody (let's call this exemplary person<br />Billy Starter) starts a forum topic to voice their dissatisfaction<br />with .. let's say.. a movie, people are quick to jump all over<br />that person, discounting all complains and defending that<br />movie with the ferocity of a mother Grizzly defending her<br />young against invaders from outer space. These people make<br />sure to tell poor Billy to grow up and to pull the preverbial stick<br />out of his rectum. They generally seem convinced that anyone<br />who doesn't love a movie must be a virtual clone of the Simp-<br />sons' own Comic Book guy - Only less socially adept.<br /><br />Now, Billy might not be one to back down easily. He might be<br />convinced that he's right, and he might want to defend his own<br />opinion. If he does, he's <strong>doomed</strong>.<br />For then, the defense squad jumps into action. If you actually<br />use forums, you might have witnessed this spontaneously-<br />forming, cult-like mob in action. Hellbent on refuting the very<br />idea that something about a movie (/music/book/comic/game)<br />might be anything less than great entertainment, they rip apart<br />any and every point of criticism. Should they run out of argu-<br />ments of their own, they bring out their secret weapon of<br />ultimate doom.<br />"<strong><i>It's just _______, grow up and enjoy it</i></strong>".<br /><br />You see, it doesn't matter if there are plot holes. It doesn't<br />matter if basic story elements make no sense. It doesn't<br />matter if a musical composition is tired and boring. It doesn't<br />matter if dialogue is stupid. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter,<br />it doesn't matter. All that matters it that you, as a good<br />consumer sit down and ENJOY things no matter how<br />bad they are. Because if you can't, it's you who failed<br />- Not the ones who made the the stupid crap you're watching.<br /><br />That's right. Apparently, it's not longer the job of someone who<br />comes up with a story to make it enjoyable. It's up to the con-<br />sumer to make himself believe that he enjoys it. And if you<br />don't... Yep, you instantly regain your virginity and teleport<br />into your parents' basement.<br /><br />I've seriously seen people claim that it doesn't matter if actors<br />suck... because "<i>IT'S JUST A MOVIE !</i>" And that it doesn't<br />matter if the writing on a comic is bad because "<i>IT'S JUST<br />A STORY</i>". These are literal quotes, mind you.<br /><br />So what happened here ?<br />Is this some kind of bizarre counter-movement to the negativity<br />of years past ? Is it a desperate attempt to appear mature and<br />worldly ? Could it be the seeds of the industrial plants ?<br /><br />Whatever it might be, I know for sure that it is one thing:<br />Hilariously stupid.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2